Baron, I think you're a decent guy, and in a way I agree with you.
If lances are included in SMs they should be close to balanced as far as real cost. They should pay a premium for them, because it's unfluffy to have them, but it shouldn't be something where one is shooting themselves in the foot to get it.
So to me it would look like this if lances were included: 2@30cm for +10 points (most people agree that 2@30 free swap is a loss of fp, so this only increases that by a little) Or 1@30cm for free (this is definitely a loss of firepower by any standards)
People don't generally take uncompetitive things very often. Look at 40k, and how marine players usually run what is best rather than fluffy (at least in my area), as in 'no my ultramarines are secret blood angels/spacewolves/soontobegreyknights'
Or Guard players, and how they don't run some units that really aren't bad, like the primaris psyker, because something is slightly better.
In my Ork fleet revision thread my thoughts on the 'Extra Powerfields' upgrade is that it is pretty much worthless not on a BB/BC, where having 3 shields is better than 2 on the most important ship in your fleet. However on a Cruiser? Not worth 25 points, and I don't know any Ork player who does it. (deadshane mentioned it only being occasionally useful on a terror ship if he had the warlord there.)
In my study of 126 ork fleets (which I really should dig out for more info) powerfields were used 42% of the time. 87% of the times that they were used it was on a large vessel (BB/BC). However this was more than any other upgrade, and is an interesting note. All the other warboss upgrades are either massively overcosted, (Mad meks!) or are not that useful on a ship that doubles its BV (Mega-Armored Nobs)
Although things are often overpriced, if they fill some hole in a fleet people will pay the extra points for them. And the whole paper I wrote last month on research done behind Ork fleets is actually a decent study into how people purchase upgrades/ships/whatnot according to relative cost. As well as how internet psychology on certain items influence what people purchase in BFG (as usually people come to a forum to ask what they should buy.)
That said, SM fleets don't have any need for lances, it doesn't fill a hole like Powerfields do in Orks, and therefore even the slightest overcostedness will push it to maybe.... 15-20% of lists, from those people who just hate the fp table or have some sort of lance-love or want a ship that's unique in their Imperial Fists fleet or whatnot.